With Father’s Day coming up I thought it would be nice to have a Dad write a guest post about his perspective on Fatherhood. Everyone, meet Phil! He is the father to two adorable little boys and married to the love of his life. I hope you love reading this as much as I did and take a little something away from it whether you’re a mom or a dad!

As we look to celebrate Father’s Day again, I’m more aware than ever of the traditional ideal I built in my mind of what a father should be. He must be strong, yet charismatic; popular, while still exhibiting humility, but above all else, he must provide for his family. This was who my dad was to me, and who I always believed I should be for my children.

My wife recently stopped working full time to stay home with our two boys. Being sole family provider has long been a norm for fathers in our country, but there are added expectations for dads now that generations before never addressed. I can’t imagine my dad watching the kids for a weekend while mom was out of town or helping with bath/bed time and certainly not changing a diaper. But like so many dads these days, I do all these things.

With that said, my scope was set on becoming a father of yesteryear. Work is the sole priority with any additional efforts a bonus, and my family will be better for it. I couldn’t have been more wrong, and it led me to the edge of a breakdown.

Through therapy and consultation with several close friends, I’ve come to realize that while the expectations of the “Modern Dad” are many, they are a good thing. I’d been so focused on mastering the “traditional Dad” that I hadn’t started to appreciate the more comprehensive and present version of the Dad I’d become. There will always be challenges that exist, but this mindset has helped alleviate so much of my self-doubt as a father, husband and provider.

Happy Father’s Day to all the Dad’s out there!