I knew going into Motherhood that I would get a front row seat to all of my children’s firsts. What I didn’t quite realize was that most of my first born child’s firsts would be my firsts for the rest of our lives together. Let me break this down for you.
The Learning Curve.
Let’s be honest, none of us (parents) really know what we are doing. We are all learning as we go. It gets messy, mistakes are made and we are so far from perfect. Let me paint a picture for you real quick. You finally make it out of the house, pull up to music class and the baby has a blowout. You quickly realize that you forgot the change of clothes but there is no way in H-E double hockey sticks you’re not going inside to shake that tambourine because you have made it this far and you’re going to accomplish ONE thing if it kills ya! So, you wrap a burp cloth around that baby, go inside and get to singing! Did I forget the change of clothes again? Not for a while, but eventually, I sure did! Other firsts continued to pop up after that and while it can sometimes feel like you can’t catch a break you have to remind yourself that you have never done this before! Give yourself a break. Guess what? You both survived.
The Beauty.
There is so much beauty in seeing the world through a child’s eyes. The sand between their toes for the first time, that first bite of cake and the magic in their eyes as they watch the sky fill with fireworks. Watching all of this unfold does something to your soul. It may in fact be one of my most favorite parts of being a mother. If my kids have taught me anything it’s that joy can be found in the smallest of moments and to never take anything for granted.
The Heart Walking Away.
The inspiration behind this blog post was Emerson’s first field trip. I dropped her off at school where she would then get on a school bus to head to their destination. I was NOT prepared for all the feels I had about this field trip. I was trying to be so excited for and with her while simultaneously being overwhelmed with my own anxious thoughts.
Her: I’m so excited I can’t sleep!
Me: I’m so anxious I can’t sleep!
Her: I can’t believe I get to ride on a school bus!
Me: I can’t believe she is riding on a school bus!
With every excited thought she had came an anxious thought for me. It’s true when they say having a child is like watching your heart get up and walk out the door every day. I had always heard this but never really experienced it until our first field trip.
The Future.
Emerson’s whole life is going to be a first for me. Every day will undoubtedly present new challenges and obstacles while simultaneously bringing more beauty and joy. Some days I will thrive and other days I will survive. Grateful for my first born who will continue to teach me new things about Motherhood every single day!