I have set out to start sharing (or some may say oversharing). Sharing my innermost thoughts that keep me up at night, sharing my hard, sharing the ugly parts of motherhood and parenting, but also sharing how transformative and wonderful the past four years have been. Motherhood is hard. It is also beautiful. And I know it can be both of those two truths at the very same time.
When I first shared my infertility journey on Instagram, I was floored to see so many women in a similar position. Even more eye opening was my initial belief that some of those women had no trouble getting pregnant and had no worries or struggles in life. That is the problem with social media. We all know it. We assume everyone has it better than we do. But that’s what I want to change and why I want others to realize how important it can be for others to share their story. I know social media can be a comparison game: both isolating and depressing. I also see it growing into a place that feels welcoming, comforting and shows us we are all the same: imperfect beautiful humans.
When I became a mother, I realized there was even more of an isolation and comparison game brewing. It is easy to believe that mom you see on social media has it all together. She is more organized than me, plays with her kids more than me, or she seems to do it all-more than me. I am set to change that stigma. We all struggle with similar issues. We all go through the transformation into pregnancy and early motherhood, and we all have a postpartum journey. I notice the more I share my struggles during these seasons of life, the more I am validated that we are all a LOT alike. Whether it is your transition into motherhood, problems in your marriage, mental health issues, or an issue you don’t feel comfortable sharing- you are not alone.
One recent struggle I have decided to share is my journey with mental health. I have always considered myself a happy, mostly unbothered person. However, since becoming a mom I have had a nagging sense of anxiety always present in the background of my day. It seems to be getting worse and something I am ready to dig into a little deeper. It is truly an isolating experience, if I let it be. But instead, I have decided to share my struggle. And you know what I have found? I am not alone. There are so many moms and people who have reached out to me saying they are going through the same exact thing. Whether it is anxiety, depression, insomnia, or other mental health issues, please know you are not doing it alone. Because when you know you aren’t actually doing this alone, it makes it a little more bearable. I want to continue to create a space for women that feels authentic, honest, and open: a place where we can talk about how hard our day is or how it just sucks to be a mom sometimes; a place to turn to when your anxiety just won’t stop, or you are convinced you are the only person up all hours of the night praying you will just fall asleep. The reality is, we will all face challenges in our lives. My hope is that we can show up for each other and support one another. We are all trying to do the best for our children and ourselves. Motherhood is one of the hardest, most rewarding, jobs in this world. So let’s stop pretending we can do this job alone. We have the opportunity to fail, succeed, and find our way- together. I know I can’t do this journey alone and thankfully, I don’t have to.
You can find me on Instagram @redefinedmamma or (on my new and very much work inprogress) blog.